“Story about Mom” by Lisa Curley

The term, “Azhdilt,” (Have self-discipline and be prepared for challenges), is commonly spoken in Dine (Navajo) households. In a poor rural community, access to medicine and healthcare was a privilege only for those with functioning vehicles. Witnessing family members in pain due to the lack of technological advances in local clinics and hospitals, where it felt like most doctors could only give rudimentary help, like prescribing a bottle of Tylenol or recommending another hospital four hours away. This lack of sufficient health care had a significantly negative impact on my mother, who suffered long-term from eye anomalies. Visiting medical professionals hours away or even out of state for her to receive even temporary relief was frustrating to watch—the strongest woman in my life was often defeated and in constant pain. But I was again told, “Azhdiltl.” Having self-discipline and being prepared for challenges is a sign that hope and faith remain as support when life throws obstacles in your path.

Coming from the Navajo Reservation, I often grew up with childhood friends who fell into the devastating addictions of alcohol and drugs. For many families surviving without running water and power, the community has never been more crucial to uplift. During that time, I witnessed my father taking the time to give his old friends, who unfortunately had been led down the path of homelessness, a bag of food. It was the kindness of simply sitting down and sharing a meal with them that my dad always made sure to take. It was the time of COVID, when the food turned into masks and hand sanitizer for them to be able to take care of their health in these trying times. That kindness reminded me of the duty I had to always help others in need.

During the winter of my sophomore year, a homeless man approached my mom and I after we had gone grocery shopping. He asked for $15, not to buy himself a drink or to buy himself a meal, but so he could afford to visit the doctor. He lived in constant pain while I opened my door to the car with seat warmers and returned to a warm home. After giving him the money he needed, he returned to shelter of the cold wall on the side of a grocery store. Falling asleep in order to silence the hunger of the food he never got and the medical care he desperately needed.

It was the summer of my junior year when my mom's knee pain started to worsen. Over the year, she had been experiencing pain but had subdued it with a simple pain relief gel or a knee brace. It wasn’t until I had to firmly hold her hand so she could find her balance. Or to patiently stand with her for a few minutes because the pain was so unbearable, she had to take time before she started walking. Many of my siblings and I urged her to see a better doctor, even a doctor in a different state. Her only reason to why she was so against it, was that it would be a choice to remedy her pain or to keep the lights on and food on the table. She continued to work two jobs to help support our family regardless of the agony she was in.

It wasn’t a single family member living with an illness that fueled my interest in healthcare. It was understanding that I was given a roof over my head, given a fridge full of food, and the ability to go to a doctor whenever problems arose from a mother who couldn’t relieve her pain out of love for her children. I understood that I had access to healthcare, but my mother couldn’t. It fueled my anger knowing my family couldn’t obtain the same healthcare because they chose to sacrifice their happiness for the people they loved. Apart from my mother, the frustration only grew when I witnessed the community that was already holding onto the bare minimum of education, jobs, and healthcare, being continuously pushed down. I learned the value of the quote, “I wanted success, so I’m given failure.”

I want my mom to be on the road to recovery, but there isn’t enough money or healthcare access in our community to do so. I want to make sure no other person has to live in constant pain because they can't access the healthcare they need. To be in a powerless state where I may not fully understand the position the man was in , but I can empathize and do whatever I can to pull him out of it. So I am given failure, and given countless obstacles from education to finances to be the one to make that change. My desire to gain a substantial amount of knowledge in science, support my family, and contribute to healing my community leads me to hope that I have the drive within myself to further my STEM studies successfully.