“The Air I Breathe” by Anonymous Teen
When I was just a toddler, I was diagnosed with food, environmental, and animal allergies. My mom opted to provide me with allergy shots to mitigate this condition because my allergies also severely affected my asthma, another diagnosis that accompanied my allergies. As a child, having difficulty breathing due to my allergies and asthma was all I knew, so I thought that was the norm for everyone. I couldn't understand why I had to get three painful allergy shots, weekly, biweekly, then finally monthly. My monthly allergy shots continued for four years.
As I got older, my mother made a point of ensuring I stayed active. Despite seasonal allergies, I played soccer and baseball. Despite temperate and exercise-induced asthma, I played ice hockey. I began to learn that my allergies and related asthmatic symptoms did not need to control my life. I learned to observe my symptoms, evaluate my surroundings, and alter conditions unfavorable to my allergies and asthma to make them as favorable as possible. When necessary, I took emergency medications to ensure that I could always participate in all activities. I always traveled with these emergency medications, even attaching a small, discrete bag to my ice hockey water bottle to hold my rescue inhaler. I wanted my abilities to shine rather than my allergies and asthma. I was able to continue my hockey career thru club and eventually for four years of Carmel High school varsity hockey.
As my life continued, it was clear that every illness that my sister and I shared would be more serious and long-lasting for me. I would always have to take more medicine, and I would always have to miss more school. My doctors said this was a direct result of my allergies and asthma, which exacerbated every illness. Nevertheless, I tried not to make a big deal out of it, and actually, my sister envied me for being able to miss more school. I eventually was able to take these fears and anxieties and turn them into a positive experience. I was able to volunteer at a facility that not only showed me, that I was not as bad off as I thought. I had a personal experience with children that were really facing chronic illness, conditions, or injuries. This really put everything into perspective.
A friendly security guard greeted me with a warm smile as I entered Blythedale Children's Hospital, a rehabilitation and long-term care facility. It was my first day as a volunteer, and I wanted to make a difference but wasn't really sure how. I wondered what I could possibly contribute. Children here have gone through things most people could not imagine and suffer through painful recoveries; however, they are still able to find happiness all around them. I've witnessed children cry while they still smile and laugh. Making friends and finding joy despite their hardships, including welcoming me into their world to share what I would later learn, is a tremendous insight into the simple beauty and power that can be found if only you know how to see it. I have a life long challenge ahead of me but compated to what I was able to witness, I am quite sure I am one of the luckier ones.
One student that I knew had limited gross motor skills and a completely paralyzed face. Despite this challenge, he still found a way to communicate, get his needs understood and met, and, perhaps most importantly, laugh. What made it difficult, though, was truly understanding what emotion he was trying to express. As I interacted with him, I had to
understand which actions correlated to what emotion. It may have all sounded similar to the casual observer, but each noise he made had a completely different meaning, signified by very subtle differences in expression. This required me to begin to look through a finer lens to get a deeper understanding of this child and all the children I interacted with to best help them and figure out how to understand and facilitate their needs. This need to understand him and his emotions on a deeper level inspired me to understand the importance of the little things in life.
Each sound, while it may have seemed small to me initially, was such an important vehicle of expression. The smallest of sounds expressed the deepest of emotions unique to each child. This understanding of the subtleties and importance of details of expression shapes my life now and how I understand and appreciate the ideas and emotions of others. It helps me understand the emotions and needs of my friends, family, coworkers, and future interactions in all facets of life. It has taught me how to be a quiet observer, celebrate human connectedness, and see the power to influence others positively and ultimately make a difference in all types of interactions. In recognizing and celebrating the differences of others, I, too, am now different.
As I end my second summer volunteering at Blythedale Children's Hospital, I continue to rely on the knowledge I gained from this life-changing experience. I came to assist students in need, but those very students changed my worldview and changed me. They taught me how to see more acutely, hear subtleties undetectable to me previously, and have the patience to use this insight to apply to interactions in all forms and environments. But most importantly, I learned that positivity can be found anywhere, even in the most challenging of situations, and that by harnessing my skills to detect it, I can make that difference. The difference I wasn't really sure how to make that first day I came to Blythedale.
My mom always made sure my elementary and middle school had plenty of my medication on hand in case I accidentally ingested peanuts or tree nuts. She never wanted me to feel isolated at the "allergy table," and my doctor's notes supported this. Aside from wanting to be with my friends, it was empowering for me to understand my food allergies and understand how each medication worked to mitigate my body's response in the event of an accidental ingestion. I never had any accidental ingestions at school, but my first incident occurred at home while enjoying hazelnut chocolate with my family. I felt an itchy sensation in my throat and realized I had an allergic reaction. An even more severe reaction happened recently when I accidentally ate pesto containing nuts during a college visit. It was a true eye-opener as I'm about to embark on this independent time in my life at college. From now on, I must independently control my exposure, reaction, and prevention of food, environmental, and animal allergies. The children at Blythedale taught and my personal experience has taught me never to let the fear of a life threatening situation hold me back from following my dreams and indulging in my passions.